Repair or Replace

Wow, it has been a while since I posted.

More on that at another time. I had some things that sort of fell into my lap recently while visiting a new church, and wanted to share some of the things I learned there.

I don’t know about you, but I have spent most of my adult life in repair mode-meaning , whenever I find a gap between my ideal and my reality–I seek to find the cause, make corrections , repairs if you will, to close the gap. That’s the engineer in me–tinker, fix, repair, restore to good.

Sometimes, you can’t fix it.

This has been a source of a lot of frustration and maybe even despair at times.

Recently I learned about “don’t repair it, replace it”. Meaning, sometimes its better to spend your energy on creating new, not repairing the broken. Start over, begin anew. Let go of the notion you can or even need to fix what is broken, and channel that energy, that aspiration to creating something new, on replacing it.

I am no expert in this-but whether it is a relationship, a car, a home, or your self esteem, sometimes you can’t fix the past. Maybe its time to just create what you do want in the relationship, what you do want in the home, the life you do want, the YOU you want, rather than trying to fix it.

Make sense? It kind of spoke to me-so I offer as just an idea for you –if it fits, then use it, if not, then SYH.

We’re Not Jam Jars

Labels. When they are on jars of jam, they’re useful. When they are on each other or on yourself–they are destructive.

Please see more about this here:

http://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_casey_looking_past_limits.html

WITM?

So, I am not sure if I ever fully explained the purpose of this blog. Quite simply, it is to share what’s important to me (WITM)–so that when I am long gone, my kids, my grand kids, and my friends will have something of me left behind.

I am really just wanting to share the things that are still important in my life, that have stood the test of time, that I would most want my kids and grand kids to consider for their own life.

That being said, I thought I’d share the most important values and beliefs–succinctly (I am not known for that, but I will try)…

1) We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience

This is really my core belief and shapes everything else–I believe we existed before this earthly life and will exist afterward. I believe we are each a child of God–as is–we don’t earn it, we can’t lose it, but we can live as if it isn’t true–so for me, it is really important that my kids and grand kids never ever forget who we are…our bodies may be of this earth, our bodies may have descended through evolution, but we are not our bodies, we are our spirit. The energy and essence of our being, our individuality originate in our spirit–and that is why each Baby Easter has been so unique, so individual, each with their own talent, own needs, own special mission here on earth.

If there was just ONE THING I’d hope you would believe–this would be “the one thing”….you are a child of God, and you have lived before “here” and will live afterward. And what we learn here, will go with us….

One of My Mentors Has Passed Away

I smile and start to count on my fingers: One, people are good. Two, every conflict can be removed. Three, every situation, no matter how complex it initially looks, is exceedingly simple. Four, every situation can be substantially improved; even the sky is not the limit. Five, every person can reach a full life. Six, there is always a win-win solution. Shall I continue to count?”

– Dr. Eliyahu M. Goldratt, 1947- 2011

Eli was one of my mentors in my career and he passed away yesterday. The quote above is probably the best to capture his approach to life and to business and the reason that I,  like so many others,  asked Eli to teach me how to use these principles both in life and in business.

To those of you whom know me best, I hope you will recognize these principles as they are among the principles and beliefs to which I aspire.  They are so powerful and transformational, but sometimes they seem like only “magic” and can be easy to think of as not being realistic in the heat of the moment’s conflict or current situation.

Thankfully Eli also taught how to use them.

Eli, so long for now my friend, I hope to see you again someday, thank you for the many gifts of wisdom and sage advice you gave me.

Dr. Ledbetter’s Class

I would love to get your thoughts on this: I think most of us think about lessons learned through our life’s ups and downs—we think about how particularly our life’s toughest moments seem to offer the most profound learning.

Usually, at least for me, its only long afterward that I realize this or can wax so philosophical about it.  Its not so easy to see it as a beautiful thing while you are still IN the tough challenge.

For me I am drawn to think that our life is meant to help us learn lessons because I believe that we are each spiritual beings having an earthly experience–and we live on after this life–and take our “lessons learned” with us.

And so it seems plausible that lessons NOT learned may have to be repeated…and there are some of them I really do not want to have to repeat.

It reminds me of Dr. Ledbetter’s engineering class—he was a TOUGH, relentless, (I think we said ‘ruthless’ at the time)–professor at A&M. He assigned massive amounts of work, had frequent tests and actually assumed you were reading ahead in the book…anyway, everyone hated the class—because it was so grueling.  Let me put it this way—not only did you have to get the right answer to the questions, but you also had to derive and show the steps in getting them.  There was no way to simply look up the answer in a table…(and we had no spreadsheets yet)–the only way to pass was to know the material.

As much as I hated the class, I was at least aware of the implications if I didn’t learn the material–I certainly didn’t want to repeat the class….and you couldn’t get the diploma unless you had this class…

Of course, the story has a happy ending–and it only took me about 1 year after the class to realize what a gift Dr. Ledbetter had lead us all to—his gift was that we each had developed an exceptional grasp of the foundations of engineering and finance that I have used repeatedly in my career.

I know that that one class alone made a lot of difference in my capabilities and opportunities that later came my way.

I told you that story to ask you this question….who is your Dr. Ledbetter? And what class is he/she teaching you?

I think ‘Dr. Ledbetters’ show up in each of our lives -and sometimes-we don’t see them as our friend until a long time after their class is over.

Pay attention to your answer-cuz you probably have to have THAT class to graduate.  And for goodness sake–you don’t want to repeat their class.

Please share your thoughts with me–I learn so much from them…

Latest Meme Count

A few months ago I mentioned that all of a sudden the word “meme” had come into my world—50+ years without it, and now, in the last 3 months or so, it is an every week occurrence.

The official count now stands at 14.

14 separate occasions this word has ‘jumped’ off the page or video—”into” my attention .

As Jerry says “What’s up with that?”.

Which One Wins?

One evening sitting around the fire, the grandson of an old and wise Cherokee chief asked his grandfather, “Why is life so unhappy Grandad?”

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The wise old chief thought for a moment, and then asked, “Can you hear the wolves that are howling in the distance son?”

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“Yes I can Grandad,” replied the boy.

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“Have you noticed how some of the wolves are angry and aggressive and some are gentle and friendly?”

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“Yes I have Grandad,” replied the boy, “I like the baby wolf with the stripes who follows me when I go hunting.”

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“Well, we have two wolves inside us also,” replied his grandfather.

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“One leads us to misery and unhappiness. It sows the seeds of anger, envy, jealousy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and ego.

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The other leads us to happiness. It sows the seeds of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

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The grandson was quiet for a while and then asked: “Which wolf wins Grandad?”

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The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”

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I got this from a friend of mine from Sweden who added the following comments that I think are equally powerful (thank you Liv)…

Happy people are not happy just because they happened to be born under a lucky star or because they inherited a “happiness gene”. Happy people are happy because of practice. “Practice makes perfect”. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? You practiced. How did you learn to speak a foreign language? You practice. How did you learn to swim? You practiced. Some people need more practice, others need less. However, nobody learns something immediately, everyone needs to practice.

Consider a person who has the habit of running 5 kilometers every morning and a person who never does any physical exercise. Which person would find it easier to run a marathon? Similarly, consider a person who writes about positive things that she accomplished during the day every day before she goes to sleep and a person who has never tried to think positively about herself. Which of these people would find it easier to pass a job interview in which they are asked to talk about why they deserve to get the job?

Thinking positively about oneself is a habit like every other skill in life. The good thing about this is that everyone can learn it. The bad thing about it is that it takes time and energy just like it does to develop any other new habit.

Happy New Year-and here’s to a year of creating a healthy habit of self-respect and positive self-esteem.